School Days (Daze)

One month done with school and it is going fabulously! I am not just saying that either. Everyone of my children likes school (so far!). They all like their teachers and getting into the school routine has not been difficult. I think they all really missed it.
Mahlet is doing so great in school. Her teachers/school were a little apprehensive at first thinking they could not deal with a non-English speaking child, but they are amazed at her each day. She is adapting well to school routines and rules. I am waiting for a breakdown one day when the novelty will wear off and she decides she just doesn't want to go. :-)
Things I have learned the past couple of months. She is a stubborn little girl. She acts like an only child, which is odd having lived in an orphange. She doesn't really know how to play with siblings unless they are all doing the exact thing she wants to do at the exact moment she wants to do it! Compromise is definately not in her vocabulary yet. It's been a growing experience for all of us, but we went through the same thing with all of our children, adopted or biological. However, my biological children went through it at about age of 3, so sometimes it's hard to remember that while she is 7 years old physcially, certain aspects of her are still learning and growing.
She did give us a scare this week and at the dinner table had a seizure. It was small and unless you were aware of what forms seizures can look like one might have missed it. She came out of it good and was able to eat later. The following day of course was a trip to the doctor and then off for and MRI and EEG. A thankful answer to prayers that nothing out of the ordinary was found. The doctors are hoping it was just a one time deal. So we just wait and see. We weren't overly concerned as she has been home for 4 months and this is the first time we have had this issue. We are glad it was over quickly and answers to test were back super fast. Thanks be to God!

Going over our calander the other night we realized that our Samantha's 5 year Gotcha Day is coming up Oct. 15th! I would like to say, wow 5 years, but our reaction is, "it's only been 5 years!". We mean that in a great way. I can not remember our family without Samantha. Sometimes I forget I did not give physcial birth to her. She is an amazingly wondeful, cheerful, bright, energetic, and funny girl who adds a smile to my day everyday. Can't wait to celebrate her special day to reminder her how much she changed our lives for the better.

I have a senior this year! I can not believe it! We have been busy college shopping. I am having fun. I am not sure about her, but her father and I are doing the things we didn't get to do as 18 year olds. I hope one day she has fond memories of this year. We are trying to make it full of many fun memories.
We have a 5 child living with us for 3 weeks. Our German exchange student showed up. We are having the best time! It's fun trying to come up with "American" activities. It's a great experience for our whole family and she has been a real trooper about all the siblings running around. Mahlet thinks she is just the best present we could have gotten her. LOL!

So that is a basic catch up of our lives. I hope when I am done blogging for my dad's Appalachian Trail hike in a few weeks, I will have time to keep up my own blog. But then again, I am busy living life and having a great time (most of the time).

Thanks for stopping by!!!!

So Monday’s post came out a little harsh. I didn’t mean for it to be. Chalk it up to post-adoption depression. Trust me there is such a thing. For a year you ride on these endorphin highs, even the lows are a high. There is always something to look forward to, but mostly your new child. Then BAM! Its here and over in a flash. Just like a tornado, it’s strikes and it’s gone and you are left with a big ‘ole mess to clean up.
Messy isn’t a negative word in this context necessarily. It’s just like any other big change in one’s life. It happened after the birth of my biological children as well. There is change in routines and schedules. I used to thrive on change. I loved changed. Negative or positive...it was a reminder that we are definitely not in control of this crazy ride we call life. This time though it has been hardest for me. Maybe it’s because I am approaching 40 in just a few short weeks. Maybe it’s because Doug will be going on 2 years of unemployment in October. Maybe it’s because my oldest “baby” is leaving us next year for college or maybe it’s just …because.
I find that my biggest goal for the day is to actually make it through the day. Getting up out of bed is a huge chore and I can’t wait to get back into my bed and lay my head on my pillow. I am so tired these days I have even stopped dreaming. When I am at work, I wish I was at home, when I am at home I wish I was out having an adventure. I hate that feeling! I hate wishing my days away. Each day is a gift and I need to remember to treat it that way. Doesn’t matter where I am physically, it matters where I am mentally. So, instead of de-cluttering my house, I am de-cluttering my mind….pushing out everything that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter I am not a super model (although it would make it easier to find clothes), it doesn’t matter I am not a gourmet cook (my kids wouldn’t eat it anyway), it doesn’t matter I am the breadwinner of my family (my girls will have 2 years of daddy time memories), it just doesn’t matter.
Funny how God has a way of taking you to the brink to get his point across. Well really, God gets his point across just fine if we were to be quiet and listen. It’s my fault I am at the breaking point, I forgot what does matter. It reminds me of the line in the movie City Slickers.
Do you know what the secret of life is? One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean (squat).

The story

“What’s her story?” That is the number one question I am asked about Mahlet. Funny, because that is not the number one question I was asked about out adopted daughter from China. Is it because adoptions from Africa are not as common (well, they are now)? Is it because they assume her parents are dead? Are they trying to figure out if she has some horrible disease? No one walks up to me and asks what’s my story or my biological daughters’ stories. Why do people want to know her “story”?
Well, I will tell you her story. She is a 7 year old girl who needed a home. End of story. That is the entire story that we needed. It should be more than adequate for you.
I am not saying that to be mean or to let you think we are hiding anything. I am saying that because she is a human being. You wouldn’t walk up to a complete stranger on the street and say, “Hey! Why don’t you have a leg?” No, it’s rude (and if you do, we should talk). It’s just as rude to think that sharing the intimate details of her young life is any of your business.
Again, the only thing that matters is that she is a 7 year old girl who needed a home and we are so blessed that we were chosen to be her family. That brings me to another point. People say, “You are so amazing for doing this.” I will be the first to step up to the plate and say we are not amazing. You know who is amazing? Mahlet is amazing. Eight weeks ago that girl was picked up and taken away from her life….literally, left everything behind. She was dropped into a new country, new house and new family. Yet every morning she wakes up with a smile on her face. She might not go to bed that way, but everyday she wakes up with a smile. What a grand testimony to her desire for life. She wakes up with a smile on her face and the attitude that this is a new day. Sure she has toys and TV and new clothes and sisters, but I am sure she would trade it all back in to be back in Ethiopia with people who understand her language, to the foods and smells she knows, to her birth family. She doesn’t care if she had to live on a dirt floor. How courageous is this little girl to put her life on our hands. To give us her trust?
You know who else is amazing? Our Samantha is amazing. She had to go through the same experiences at age 4 and now she is reliving those experiences with Mahlet. It has dredged up a lot of questions about her past. Questions she never asked and questions I can’t always answer for her. She is one of the bravest girls I know.
So, the next time you think to ask an adoptive parent about their child’s “story”, stop and consider what a personal question you are really asking?

One month and counting

Okay, I admit. I am a terrible, terrible blogger. I should probably not even have this site, but I do and you have to put up with my sporatic posts. I fully accept any and all mocking via the comments section.

So, how is life one month later? Great, hectic, tiring, wonderful and surprising.

Mahlet is officially not sick anymore. The snotty nose is all gone! Yeah!!!

Mahlet has given herself a new name...Briana. Since Briana is gone to Germany for month, Mahlet figures her name must be up for grabs. She points to everyone at the table and then points to herself and says, "Briana" and then laughs and laughs. Hopefully, Briana gets her name back upon her return or that will teach her for going away!
We did have a big break-through in the name department. She freaked out after being home for a week when we were saying our first and last names and we tried to say Mahlet Graber. She was adament that was not her name and kept correcting us (using her Ethiopian last name, which is her biological father's first name). Of course, we didn't push it and let it drop, cause that is quite traumatic of a change. Bad enough we shaved her head, now we are changing her last name?! Well, the other day she went around the room and said Daddy Graber, Mommy Graber, Isabella Graber, Samantha Graber, and Mahlet Graber. Then clapped and gave us a hug. Not sure she really believes it yet or was doing it to please us, but it's a start and it doesn't matter to me. And really, as a kid, how many times do you have to answer to your last name?

We have yet to complete a successful walk as a family, but it is getting closer and closer. The meltdowns come now from just wanting to be walking in the middle of the road or on the opposite side as everyone else or hitching a ride home with whatever car is driving by...okay, just kidding on that last one. She isn't bulking at the walks as much as the rules on the walk. I am sure she is thinking these people are crazy. They can drive wherever they want to go, yet they insist on walking in a circle at night. :-)

We have had some firsts...swimming in the area lakes. She loves it. Hesitant for about 5 seconds and then jumpled right in with her sisters. She doesn't go under the water, which is fine by me. But she just loves to be in the water. I even braved a swimsuit and went in with them the other day and she road around on my back for about an hour. What a great work out. Eat your heart out your P90X -ers. You ain't got nothing on a mom that swims around with kids on your back. BTW: I am not the only mom that uses this workout routine. Maybe we should be selling it? :-)

Samantha is getting better. Mahlet and her have come to a nighlite agreement that I think it working well. Samantha with her glaucoma hates any bright light and a nightlite in a dark room feels like the sun burning your eyeballs out. Mahlet doesn't like the dark in the least and I really prefer if she had some light so if she woke up and forgot where she was she could find the door. So basically, they are sorting out sharing a bedroom.

Oh, we also had our first movie. Toy Story 3. I, the adult, thought it was cute, but not the best of the 3. Mahlet had a good time. Mostly because popcorn was served. She LOVES popcorn. Pretty sure she would eat it 24/7 if we let her. She couldn't sit on the movie theater seat because they kept springing up and folding her in half and she was getting quite irrated. She never did figure out how to displace her weight, so I watched the movie through the head of a 7 year old with a giant bag of popcorn. It was all good!

Pet store...still not a favorite place. This time we were looking at the cats up for adoption. First two were fine, but the all black kitty--not so much. She started screaming. Not sure if that is a bad luck thing or a reminder of something, but we left. Cats don't like screaming seven year olds.

Her and Keesha are getting along super now. Mahlet sneaks her about 20 treats a day to get her to like her and then she gets mad when Keesha follows her around the house. LOL!

Mahlet loves TV. Poor thing, as we cut off our TV for the summer. She discovered she loves the movie Ella Enchanted and can now sing 2 of the songs and knows the dance routine for at least one. Speaking of which, the girl loves to dance and sing. I guess I know what we get to sign her up for first.

She does have a stubborn streak and is a drama queen, so we are "working" on those things. However, most of that has to be worked on when the language comes along. She is adding about 5 new words a day. She will totally be ready for school by the fall. Speaking of which, we plan to start her in 1st grade in September. She is so excited for school already.

Isabella is doing well. She is also finding her place in the family now and will soon be the big sister in the house (Briana is going to be a senior this year). She really misses Briana. Mahlet loves Isabella, which is no surprise, animals and kids all love Isabella. She just has this "thing".

I returned to work 2 weeks ago. It was hard as it was right at the beginning of summer break, but Doug is staying home with the girls for now. He is a great dad, but is ready to be back at work for the mental stimulation.

Mahlet teaching Luke how to clap!

What day is it?

Well, I realized that I haven't been good about posting. Where do people find the time to keep up with this? Okay, to be honest I have the time, I just don't think about it. We are having too much fun enjoying our new daughter and keeping up with our 4 girls!

Mahlet is doing very well. We are so lucky. She is sleeping through the night. She takes a nap, but we will be weening her off of that, cause I don't think she really needs it. however, mom and dad enjoy the little break for some alone time.

She has slipped in her eating habits a bit and has gone to all carbs. I hear this is common with older children from Ethiopia when they come here.

She is definately seven years old. We have our power struggles as we both struggle with some launguage barriers. Really, the language isn't a problem until we ask her to do something and she doesn't want to do it and I have no way to explain, so it usually ends in her talking back to me in Amarhic (trust me, talking back sounds the same in any language) and her in a time out.

Everything is new to her. Our trip to the pet store to get more dog food was interesting. The first thing she saw was the wall of fish tanks. She clutched her chest like she was having a heart attack ("It's the big one Elizabeth). When I finally convinced her to walk up to the fish tanks and I showed her there was in fact glass holding them in, she was completely awe struck.
The snack behind glass did not go as well and that is when we left. :-)

For the most part, I understand things are new and stores and malls (which we have not attempted yet) are going to be difficult, but I have to admit some things I never thought would be an issue have come up. For example.... walking to the little park by our house to play. Isabella, Samantha, Mahlet and I all get on our tennis shoes (tennis shoes, a whole 'nother story) and we start heading out to the park. We get about 5 steps off the driveway and she starts screaming in Amharic and crying. She buckles her knees and won't walk. She is pointing to the house. I am standing there like an idiot going, "okay, why is this a big deal? Why would a walk freak her out?" Then I have to figure out what to do. Turn around or keep going? I decide we need to keep going. She has to see that going for a walk doesn't mean we are walking away and not coming home. I'm not even sure that is why she is freaking out, but that is my theory. She I carry part way and then set her down. She takes a few steps and quits walking. I pull her along. The normal 3 minute walk to the park takes about 20 minutes. Once we get there, she has a great time. I think, "Okay, this is good." When it's time to go, she willingly comes along. She asks, "bayt?" Which means home and I say yes. She takes off running full steam. I have to send her sisters after her. I can run, but not as fast as a 7 year old anymore. Once we got home I told Doug, I used to have an old horse that was the same way. It would take him half an hour to go a 1/4 mile down the driveway, but once you turned him around to go home, it would take 30 seconds. LOL!

Again, the other night after dinner we decide to take a family walk. In the nice weather, we love to take family walks after dinner. The dishes can wait, but hanging with the kids can't. Well, we all get our shoes on and she is actually cooperative. We head out and get about the end of the cul-de-sac and she decides that walking is no good. She buckles her knees. So, Doug and I end up dragging her through half our neighborhood with her crying, snot running down in droves (and I mean LOTS of snot). I have no kleenex so she has to use a leaf. I keep thinking, our poor neighbors. If I was looking out the window at this specticle I would have to wonder. She did finally walk the last half home, but not without testing all the boundaries.

So, the gist of it is, you just never know what to expect. The things I thought would be difficult, not so much. Then things that I thought would be fine--like going to the park---big ordeals.

I have to say though. I would so recommend an older child from Ethiopia. It's been a really good transition. Even though she gives us a few more things to deal with than Samantha, I think it's more an appropiate reaction. With Samantha we had the hurdle of the chinese nanny telling her to be good or we wouldn't want her, so a lot of her adjustment was false and took a lot longer.

Speaking of Samantha. She is doing okay with the new sister. She has to share the bedroom, so more of an adjustment is required of her.

Briana is heading out to Germany on the 15th! I can't believe she will be gone for a month! How crazy is that? We will miss her. She is a going to be a senior, so a year filled with lots of adjustments. She is looking at colleges and trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. I tell her to be a good person and make sure that comes with dental. LOL!

Oh, and Mahlet had her check up and she is doing swimmingly. The doctor was very impressed with her overall health. We again, are very blessed.